Fate
by Dawn Bently
Summary: I'd accepted our fate with Scorpius, and we were content to see it through to the end, together.


Albus and Scorpius took solace in their childhoods that been largely unaffected by this catastrophe. I was not blessed with that same gift. I have not yet finished my Hogwarts schooling and would have last school year, but Hogwarts students are quickly diminishing in numbers and there is no guarantee for safety there. There isn't a guarantee anywhere, but I imagine it's much easier on my parents and brothers for me to be at home and at risk than miles away. It's easier on Scorpius too, but probably for other reasons. Maybe they're the same, but the house is so silent that I've never asked.

In retrospect, it's funny how things turned out. Perhaps funny isn't the right word. My mother is devastated but Daddy shows almost no emotion. At least, Albus and Scorpius firmly hold that belief. I think he shows emotion but for the most part he's just broken. They never told us the real story of their youth and their war, but sneaking into the Restricted Section in the Hogwarts Library wasn't nearly as difficult as we imagined. It took only a mild distraction on my part and a few clever spells from Rose for the four of us to get past that imposing iron gate. I never realized it but I was a bit out of place among my older friends. I suppose it didn't make any real difference because they finished their schooling just before this new war and I was promptly brought home with them. I was never separated from them and I still can't tell if that was a good thing or not.

But in the candlelight, the four of us read the cold truth about our parents. Some of it was easy to read and actually nice to know. Most of it wasn't. Scorpius hadn't known the extent of his father's role in the war or in Hogwarts' own history. I don't know if he can ever forgive his father for his role in Dumbledore's death, even though we never knew him. I think it's safe to say all four of us were changed by that night, even though we'd set off with the intention of simply breaking rules because they were there to be broken.

Rose isn't around anymore, though. Albus used to be around a lot and only left every once in a while to see his girlfriend. She's relatively safe as a muggle, but Albus refuses to drop his guard around the one person I've ever seen him truly love. He's almost never here anymore and is with her in the safety of the muggle world where he has the unfair advantage over everyone. All whose left here is Scorpius and I. James stays from time to time but he's far more involved in the war than any of us ever wanted to be. He likes being a hero, I think. Trying to live up to his name sake while I'm perfectly content to sit back and wait.

Not perfectly content. Not even remotely content actually. Between my parents and Scorpius, the house is riddled with tension. Every once in a while the Faction might show but it's fairly easy for us to defend ourselves. Scorpius is talented at Defense Against the Dark Arts, but it's mostly because he actually knows the Dark Arts. I was never under the assumption that being a Malfoy was simple, and he never gave off that impression. At least not to those smart enough to see past his little efforts.

I can fend for myself, too, but I like the added protection of my parents and Scorpius. I don't know how many people I can defend myself against and I'm not at all curious to find out what that number is. One day we'll be separated, I'm sure, but for now I'd like to pretend that this war will be ended far before that time comes. I understand the things my brothers fight for, but should I be forced to separate from my parents and Scorpius, I don't know what I can fight for.

I never lived the way they did, and it can even be said that they hardly lived at all. They only had one year after Hogwarts, but this war was already in the making before they graduated. I don't know what to protect in this world when none of it has ever been mine. I've only ever been protected and cared for. I've always been the youngest and I've always wanted a single chance to break away from that but I never wanted it to happen in the midst of a war. Sure, I've broken my share of rules, and gotten away with more than my parents care to know, but a real war wasn't what I ever had in mind.

Just because I'm young, though, doesn't mean I haven't had my share of loss. I'm actually in the margins of the people fighting for the equality my father thought he brought to the Wizarding world. I'm often thought to be the spy who has been giving classified information to the Factions, but I don't know how that's possible. I'm not even told most of what happens. It's something about James being my brother and sharing their secrets with me. As a Slytherin, apparently I've already sided with the Factions. In this line of argument, my Potter heritage and name provides the perfect cover.

In my defense, usually James, it's said that a Potter could never betray the cause. I'm unclear how the same piece of information can be used in both arguments, but I rarely entertain myself with that debate. Instead, Scorpius and I like to play cards. We used to play chess, but he always beat me. With a smug look across his face he would say something about me enjoying that he doesn't let me win because I'm a girl. Then we argue because I let him win on the basis that he's a boy.

It had always been harmless banter, or so I had thought. Or wanted to believe.

I can't pinpoint the exact point in time that Scorpius had done this to me, and I'm not sure he could either. I think it started in Hogwarts. He was my only close friend who wasn't a cousin or brother and he was the only person I trusted with every secret. People in Slytherin aren't the most trustworthy people, but I had always trusted Scorpius blindly. He might've been selling my secrets to other boys in his year and I still would've opened my heart to him every night we talked. It was probably one of those nights that it happened.

I never noticed it until the hardest part of the war started. I think I was just afraid and then when the dangers of this war increased I became afraid of so many more things that simply outweighed the childish fears of a crush and the heartbreak it might entail. It was more than a crush though. I don't know if there's a word for it, because we never really had an affair either. We remained physically away from each other, but at some point we both knew. It wasn't something that could be denied anymore. I think my parents knew too, but they were thinking the same things Scorpius and I were. If we were going to die, we couldn't leave this life without knowing some kind of love.

Every day the four of us sat around the radio and waited for the names. My parents were so reluctant at first to listen, but I think they already knew how eerie it was to hear a name in a long list and have it echo in their minds for days. I think they knew exactly how haunting it was to try to remember the last time they saw that person and wonder if they remembered that insignificant time that the person made the world seem so much less terrible for them. At least that's how it was to me.

Scorpius said he doesn't think that way. He hears the name and he's glad it's not his mother or father. Or his cousin or aunt or uncle. While he's preserving the names of his family members, I'm crossing out my friends.

We also listen for something, anything, that might mean the war could end soon. But it never comes. The only thing we heard on the radio that made significant difference was the day the Factions had discovered the hideout from which the talk radio was conducted. Then they named us off. I don't know if Scorpius was preserving our four names as they echoed through the room, but I know I crossed us off.

My mother ran as fast as she could for supplies. My father remained sitting with Scorpius and I. Scorpius must've held my hand before at some point it time, but when his warm fingers touched the back of my hand at that moment, it felt like the first time I'd ever experienced close contact before. He wrapped his hot fingers around my hand and I realized I'd gone ice cold as our names were repeated. I didn't even know I was crying until his other hand touched my cheek and brushed the tears away.

We didn't move for the longest time, despite my mother's desperate attempt for the four of us to leave and split up immediately. Eventually, my father agreed with her, but Scorpius and I remained there. I think we both knew that there was nowhere to hide indefinitely. The war was not coming to an end, and we were not splitting up. I think I shattered my mother's heart that day, but she finally dropped her bag and sat down next to me. She knew it was inevitable, too, but she was far more stubborn than I.

I'd accepted our fate with Scorpius, and we were content to see it through to the end, together.


End file.
